I Spy


Just a normal day on the riverfront.

I was out running the other day on a busy street in the heart of the city, when I saw a homeless man stand up from a bench, drop trow and take a dump. I wanted to look away, but I. Just. Couldn’t. Look. Away. And once I had seen it, all I wanted to do was un-see it. In desperation to scourge this horrifying image from my brain, I got to thinking: Over the years, we have some seen some pretty weird things on the run.

There’s the long-running joke that runners are always the ones who happen upon and discover dead bodies. And I get it. We’re out at pre-dawn and dusky hours, traversing places off the beaten path. So often, we DO happen upon and discover weird and wacky things. I, personally, have not found a dead body (unless you count a multitude of squished frogs, birds and mice), but, you know, never say never.

So far, our list of sightings includes:
  • A family dressed as clowns, riding bikes on an otherwise empty trail
  • A man dressed in full drag, running in a pink running skirt on an otherwise empty trail
  • A three-foot-long bull snake
  • A group of Amish people, riding Segways
  • A herd of goats
  • A movie set, complete with Cate Blanchett
  • A prostitute wearing only fishnet hose
  • A girl walking a rabbit on a leash
  • A woman picking up pennies off the ground while running a race
  • A lone man filming his own amateur dance and music video in a park
  • A cyclist kicking a goose as he rode by
  • A man pedaling a surrey with the fringe on top
  • A woman pushing two tiny dogs in a double stroller
  • A gigantic deer carcass/skeleton situation (found by my trusty labradoodle)
  • Multiple sightings of dogs pulling their rollerblade-wearing humans
  • A foamer dude
  • The set of “Chicago Fire”
  • A man doing pullups on the scaffolding of a building on a busy street
  • Spiderman and Elmo mindlessly wandering around the riverfront

Here’s to more strange sightings! What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen on the run? — Aidz


3 thoughts on “I Spy

  1. What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious know-how regarding unexpected emotions.


  2. I ran through a prom photo session in San Francisco last year. About 200 people and the mom’s were more dressed up than their kids.
    I seem to always find the people smoking pot. Does everyone smoke pot now?
    One time I was stopped to take part in an organic hot dog taste test. They were pretty good!

    Liked by 1 person

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